When the world rejects you
by ceasare
Summary: In the wake of the fourth shinobi world war, Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha became two halfs of a single god. They were too strong so they got banished. So they decided to roam dimensions for eternity. Follow them through their adventures!
1. Chapter 1

In the wake of the fourth shinobi world war, Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha became two halfs of a single god. After the receiving the held of the sage of the six paths they were both one but at the same time seperate. They had to coexist for they were like the sun and the moon. Never seeing eye to eye but accepting the views of the other. Just like yin and yang they both seeked stability. For without one another they would explode and destroy everything in existence.

 _ **"With Tsunade in Konoha's hospital, two months after the war"**_

Naruto and Sasuke were in the examination room with Tsunade, ready to receive their evaluations. Tsunade pulled a long scroll out of her Haori and started her evaluation.

"Both of you have received the same physical evaluation to a certain degree. Your cells multiply at the same rate and quality, effectively meaning that you are immortals."

"..."

"Baachan, do you mean we are like Hidan-style and shit?"

"Hn.."

"No, you are Orochimaru's ultimate dream" she sighed. This development couldn't be good.

"How do you mean that, Tsunade-sama? " said the Uchiha.

"I mean that no matter what you do, unless someone cuts your head of you won't die. Actually at the rate that your cells are regenerating, I think that you would even survive that."

"So... I can eat Ramen all day, everyday, for the rest of eternity?" Naruto's eyes sparkled and the other three occupants of the room face vaulted on the floor.

"Sigh.. Dobe would you pay attention for once? You know they won't let us allign with any village because of this, right?" said the raven haired teen.

"Why not?" asked Naruto.

"Well for one, because of the power difference. Madara could fight all of the Shinobi alliance 1vs5, and we at this point could stomp him, one on one on his best day with all the bijuu shoved up his ass" he retorted. "What the hell teme, don't worry.. We'll wing it, somehow"

"The Gokage meeting will take place in two days time, I will have to report that. It might lead to a war if they find out."

"Hn"/ "Offcourse Baachan!" came the synchronized response.

"Teme, I wonder what would happen if you ever gave a full sentence for a response"

"Hn" the Uchiha promply left.

"Nee, Baachan.. Did... Did he just .. crack a joke?" Naruto was sweating bullets. Sasuke and jokes shouldn't be mentioned in the same sentence.

Tsunade broke into laughter.

 _ **"Two days later, Gokage meeting"**_

After a long and heated discussion, Tsunade and Gaara were outnumbered and defeated.

"Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze and Sasuke Uchiha! We are sorry to come to this point but your power is threatening the new peace. Even though immortals, you would tip the scales to Konoha's or any other countrie's favor quite a bit. I don't even want to know what would happen if you ever got an apprentice either" said the Tsuchikage while trying to maintain his composure. The two teens were gazing at him with a bored expression.

Naruto promptly sighed and pulled a hundred ryo bill from his pocked and passed it two Sasuke who snickered and pushed the note in his pocket.

"I hate it when the teme is right... You guys are bastards..."

"Dobe, I told you, you would never become Hokage. Ahahaha. You were too much of a dead weight back when we were kids and now you are too good to become a Hokage, Oh god the irony of it all"

Sasuke continued with his goading and cackling while Naruto was glaring bloody murder at him.

The Kages facevaulted again.

"Fine! Anyway. Sasuke Uchiha and I have decided to leave the Elemental nations." He walked up to the Kage and created five clones, each clone walked up to the respective Kage and did a couple of hand seals then promptly touched each Kage's shoulder. "I have a seal to each of you. You can call us if you are ever in danger."

Naruto stood up and looked at Sasuke. " Do it teme "

"Hn"

Sasuke closed his left eye where his Sharinnengan resided and focused, his hands holding in a ram seal.

Susanoo jumped around him. The tri-headed susanoo pushed each palm to another ready to prepare hand seals. At the same time Naruto's battle avatar sprung to life around him and did the same.

" _ **Collaboration Ninshu: Yomotsu Hirasaka!**_ " they muttered at the same time and a rift in space opened in front of them. They waved their hands and walked inside of it, literally expressing their 'fuck you' to this world and went to another, but before Naruto jumped in he turned around and looked the Kage's dead in eye "We will be back so behave" he did they two fingered eye to eye thing expressing a silent 'I will be looking at you' and left.

"You know, I always believed in the Gaki but he was always soo uncool and had no tact. That was the first 'cool' thing I have seen him do. As for you fuckers, I need to know where the hell I'll be getting my Mt. Myoboku sake from now on!" screamed Tsunade and the other Kages sweatdropped.

 _ **"Couple of hundred years later in a dimension far far away"**_

Naruto and Sasuke jumped out of the dimensional pit in a room full of people. That didn't stop their bickering though.

"... Soo you decided too just destroy the planet?"

"sigh... Dobe! That freezer freak said it would be destroyed anyway so what's the deal huh?"

"There were people leaving there! I mean sure green people with antenae and shit but people never the less!"

"Shut the hell up ! They were spewing eggs and shit.!" "Teme! That was on that other planet with the freaks spewing their kids out of their mouths and shit!"

"Really?"

"Really.." Noded the blonde kid sagely.

"Oh... oops?"

"Fuck you teme! You did it on purpose!"

The group of people in front of them sweatdropped.

"Who the hell are you two maggots! Don't interfere with my bussiness, I am Riser Phenex, you fools!" screamed the man. At this point the two immortals realized they had company. Naruto turned his head and saw the most beautifull woman he had ever laid eyes upon. Incidentally she looked like his mother. Naruto was secretely a mama's boy after all, even if he only met her in his head for five minutes of screen time.

He shunshined right in front of her.

"Hello there ! I am Naruto, I am a couple of centuries old, I like Ramen and I hate the three minutes it takes to warm it up and also planet destroying temes's! Will you marry me?"

Riser moved in front of him, fire on his fist blazing. Before he could respond he got a truthseeking ball up his ass and died.

"EEEEEEH?"

 **A.N Wrote this for fun, it's supposed to be a one shot but I might do something with it if you guys find it interesting! Good Day :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N This story received more than what I thought it would, so I'll keep up with it while I prepare my main story. It is purely comedic relief in my opinion and won't have much in terms of plot. I always wanted to write a lemon and improve my conversations so it will serve as my 'training grounds' of sorts. Hope you enjoy chapter two! WARNING: I have no framework or plan as I write this story it is purely written on the go =D**

Everybody was schocked, the ever stoic Grayfia was gaping like a fish, Rias didn't know wether to be excited or sad about the death of her to be fiance (she hated killing, is all). Yuuto and Koneko face vaulted and Riser's peerage stood still like poles at the same time glaring at the blonde perpertrator who killed their master.

"Aaah, fuckin Dobe!" came the grunt from the stoic Uchiha.

"What?"

"We appear on a new dimension, we haven't eaten in days and the first thing you do is flirt and then kill a guy?"

"What!? It wasn't my fault, don't glare at me! Besides... He went all Uchiha on my ass" he smirked lightly at that last part.

"My 'black balls of truth' reacted on their own, ressurect him or something, look his feet are still there!"

"..."

"How many times have I told you to not call them 'black balls of truth' , for log's sake what's your problem!?" asked the Uchiha.

"Now you listen here! Don't bring the log into this."

Through their bickering they didn't notice the collective sweatdrops of the other occupants of the room.

"Eeeh, sorry? But could you tell as who you are?" said Rias as politely as she could. Angering the beeings in front of her wouldn't do afterall.

"Aaah sorry ... ?"

"Rias. My name is Rias"

"Ok, sorry Rias-chan! Was the guy important?"

"Not really..." * sigh * "But, I'd hate seeing one of my kind killed" she muttered. Still musing over letting him stay dead.

"Ok... " said Naruto dejectly. He already knew the guy was the 'Uchiha type' just like that Vegeterian guy. No Vagino? Vagita? Hmm.. he still couldn't remember these guys, but that Goka guy could eat as much as he. They were like a mix between 'Bushy Brows' and Tsunade, he had no idea how it was even possible. Seeing people scream to flare their energies and they powered up with their hair just like occular powers changed names every other arc, it was like seeing Orochimaru and Sasuke screaming in bed, while stoking their swords... (if 'ya know what I mean'). Good that the Rinnesharingan shit couldn't peek into other people's thoughts. Shit would be awkward, between Sasuke and his own mental insults towards duckbutt.

Naruto didn't even register the now ressurected Riser screaming on top of his lungs. He only heard 'I'll be back' and then Riser and his peerage left in an inferno of majestic blazing flames, that reminded Naruto of that one collaboration jutsu he saw Sasuke and his clone do. Frankly it was still mentaly scarring seeing your best friend doing a fart fuuton jutsu to power a Gokyaku. They were pretty drunk afterall.

...

"So. Could you introduce yourselfs? As I said I am Rias Gremory and these guys are my subordinates: Akeno Himejima, Yuuto Kiba, Koneko Toujou and Issei Hyodo. Also this is Grayfia, my familys' maid."

He turned and looked at each one of them.

"Those are some long ass names! Yoosh! Sasuke we have respectively: the Sadist, the Avenger number two, Pussycat, and ..." His eyes almost left their sockets when he saw Issei.

" Issei Hyodo, you are... a pervert are you not? You probably peek into the girls changing rooms and wak the jelly every chance you get?"

A comical raincloud appeared around Issei and he got in a corner 'am I that easy to read?' he thought to himself, anime tears rolled comically out of his eyes. Sasuke ignored all the snickering before glaring at his long lived companion.

"Dobe, I can memorize names so don't treat me like a retard when you are 100 IQ points below me." he hissed.

Naruto promptly ignored the raven haired man and looked at the occupants of the room. His eyes stopped at the little girl sitting on the couch. She was munching chocolate and reminded him of Matatabi. He clasped his palms together. **"Ninshu: Banbutsu Sozo"** he muttered before releasing the technique. A cat made of blue fire appeared beside him. She was about as big as a leopard. Everyone except Sasuke was astonished at the creation of a Yokai right in front of them.

"What is it this time Naruto-kun? I was resting you know." she purred playfully while scratching herself on his legs.

"That girl. She smells like you"

"Oooh, a neko huh? She only has a tail though her chakra is rather potent, about a hundreth of yours or Sasuke-chan's"

"Stop the chan, Nibi!"

"Why Sasu-chwaaan!" she smirked at the Uchiha's annoyed expression. Before lying near the couch where Koneko sat. Koneko's mind was reeling. Did they know senjutsu? How are they sane? On a mental note she wasn't sure if these guys were sane but they were looking bored rather than insane.

"Senjutsu." she said but only Naruto and Sasuke caught her remark.

"Do you know Senjutsu, neko-chan?"

"How do you remain sane if you are using it?"

Naruto walked over to her and picked her up before sitting and puting her on his feet. "Senjutsu requires you to be one with a nature"

Sasuke was amused, "Yeah just like that tree hugging hippie." he laughed.

"Yeah, Sasuke is right! Just like a tree hugging hippie." He stroke her scalp gently with a fond smile. "You on the other hand are regretfull, in discord and resentfull. A person like that can't become one with the nature." Koneko nodded at that. Appearances asside, Koneko knew that she was neither calm nor wise.

Naruto scratched her behind the ears and she let a pur escape her throat. "Matatabi, would you like to stay with her for a bit? This world seems like fun!" he grinned at the undersized Nibi.

"Sure, I'll have to remove that stick out of her ass. Everyone here, except that Jiraya reincarnation has some issues though"

Naruto laughed heartily at that. It seems that people would need his and Sasuke's help werever they were.

"Rias-chan! Could you come over here? Sasuke and I need knowledge of this world."

Rias wasn't sure why she moved towards him. He or his raven haired friend could squash all of them in an instant without moving their pinkies, but she was oddly not intimidated even after that show of muscle against Riser.

Naruto's right hand caught Sasuke's left and they both put their respective free hands on top of Rias' forehead. "Collaborative Ninshu: Taiken Kensaku" _(Experience retrieval)_.

"Sasuke this world is trully interesting."

"Hn."

"Devils, Angels, Fallens, Dragons, and other gods. Heir apparent of the Gremory house, sign us up for Kuoh academy under Naruto Namikaze and Uchiha Sasuke. Fill any other info as you please!"

"And why would I do that?" she would do it, but she might gain a leverage through it all. She briefly wondered what they did to her, but now they knew all sorts of facts about her world.

"We know what you are trying to do but I would have done so anyway. Pack for a week tommorow, we will train you! That teriyaki wannabe can't have you!" he winked at her and they both dissapeared into a void.

'What have we got ourselves into' was their collective thought. Issei wondered why they called him a reincarnation and Grayfia was trying to connect all the dots given to her. These guys had to be at least as strong as the great red or Ophis.

"Rias-sama, I will inform Sirzechs of what happened here. For the time beeing monitor them and send a report. " she dissapeared into a magical circle.

"FUCK MY LIFE!" came the scream from Issei. "MORE FUCKIN PRETTY BOYS IN OUR SCHOOL!" everyone sweatdropped, just what was his lust limit?


End file.
